Why Shame About Depression Makes It Worse (And How to Break Free)
Mar 29, 2025
Why We Hide Depression
Admitting to feeling depressed can feel like admitting defeat.
Shame often whispers, "You're weak,"
"Something is wrong with you,"
or "Just snap out of it."
But here's the paradox: the more we bury our sadness, the deeper it festers.
Shame thrives in silence, and by hiding it, we unintentionally amplify it.
The Inner Dialogue That Traps Us
Have you ever caught yourself in this mental loop?
"I'm sad."
"Something is wrong with me."
"Oh no... I'm depressed. How can I be depressed? I'm usually happy!"
This thought spiral intensifies the darkness. We start to believe that sadness is a flaw instead of a part of the human experience.
But some of the most beautiful poetry and music were born from these shadowed moments. Darkness can be a teacher if we learn to listen with compassion.
Why Leaning Into Darkness Matters
There's a fine balance: honoring the depth of sadness while not letting it define us.
Imagine if your mind had a voice and your favorite person in the world had to hear it all day. Wouldn't it be painful for them to hear self-criticism and despair without a word of encouragement?
It's not about creating fake positivity. It’s about breaking the cycle of self-judgment.
Sometimes, we're harder on ourselves than we would ever be on someone we love. Cultivating a compassionate inner dialogue changes this.
How to Cultivate Encouraging Self-Talk
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Free Write Your Thoughts: Start by journaling what’s really coming up. Don't filter it. Let the sad voice be heard fully. Suppressing it only intensifies the struggle.
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Hear Before You Encourage: Only after fully listening to the sadness, offer words of encouragement—like you would to a dear friend. Don’t rush it. The sequence matters.
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Celebrate the Wins: My tennis coach once said it's crucial to celebrate the good hits as much as I critique the misses. The same goes for life, even small decisions.
Recently, I declined an invitation that potentially would dim my light in order to do something that would brighten my light. I celebrate that. Instead of guilting myself for declining someone's invitation, I say to myself, "I love that I'm choosing to brighten my light". Exaggerate your pride when you make choices that uplift you.
Why This Matters
Creating compassionate self-talk is not about ignoring sadness. It's about ensuring your inner voice isn't an endless echo of criticism. This shift can uplift your mental well-being, enhance leadership presence, and deepen your relationships.
How Coaching Can Help
In my coaching, we create a safe space to explore these dialogues. Together, we develop strategies to shift self-talk in ways that feel authentic, not forced. The result? More inner peace, stronger relationships, and empowered leadership.
If you're in Mauritius or prefer Zoom, I offer personalized coaching to help you navigate these challenges with curiosity and compassion.
Ready to Transform Your Inner Dialogue?
We’ll explore whether coaching is the right fit for you, with no pressure—just a meaningful conversation to help you get closer to where you want to be.
To self-kindness and growth, Lindsay
